Last graduation day, Hashi pointed to me a graduating nun, just amazed with how she wears her toga over her habit. Especially her cap over her veil. Not only did we see one but two.
The next day, I went to my friend’s house for her grad celebration and found a nun there. When I was riding home, we were in the same jeep and she talked to me because I was from CIC-Hijas (she’s not an Hijas sister). Then when I arrived home, I was about to put my bag in my room when my mother told me that my ‘tita madre’ and her other sister companion will be sleeping there. They were here for a vocation campaign.
I’m not like those other people who were very religious and that they really had a ‘nun aura’ and are prayerful.
But then at times, when I feel lost and nonsense and bitter with love I think about being a nun.
I mean, it’s just so ideal. I’ll get slim because I can’t just eat all I want. I will get over my sloth nature and spiritual dryness. I will get to do something but not too much.
My Tita Madre was a Hospitaller Sister and they have this heading in their return slip:
“Let us heal the world with his love.” Do you want to share your tender, loving care for the sick? Do not hesitate, write or visit us.
I was a nursing graduate, and since I don’t like the politics of job-searching for nurses at present, then why can’t I be a nurse-nun? Since I also love the stories of the sick and it feels good to care for them without thinking of the salary and just do it for the purpose of caring for them.
The only thing hindering is my ambition in life: freedom. I just want to do what I want in life and that includes doing “bad” stuffs. And then of course, my laziness. Because I think when you’re in the convent, you get to do many chores.
I told my sister, “Pay kung may congregation lang nga way gawa ga-pangadi ang mga madre, di gid ko mag-duha-duha mo.” (I wouldn’t have second thoughts if there’s a congregation that doesn’t pray a lot.)
I pray always, it’s just that it’s all spontaneous. I can’t stand long prayers, sometimes I get sleepy, especially with early morning masses.
Maybe when I give up on finding some love…
Or when I stop being ambitious…
I’ll become a nun.